WDTX1402 revealed to be artificial intelligence

On wednesday, popular Instagram foamer meme page “wdtx1402” was revealed to be artificial intelligence.
The meme page, most well known for its popular altered photos of trains, is revealed
to have been operated by a Chinese Government Counter-Intelligence agency out of
the Guangdong province in China.
It is unknown what purpose the Artificial Intelligence run account serves, although
it is believed that the images contain subliminal messages indoctrinating the
page’s followers with a political ideology.
When reached for comment, wdtx1402 said “wabungus.” The meaning of this statement
is unknown.
The Central Intelligence Agency has begun an investigation into the account.
When reached for a statement, a representative said, “We believe the account is connected to misinformation and voter fraud occuring during the 2020 election. Our findings also hint at connections to North Korea.”

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CPKS Strikes new deal with Mexican drug cartel to provide end to end transport solutions

(Calgary, AB)
Canadian Pacific announced a new deal with a Mexican cartel on thursday, to provide
end to end transportation services under their new CPKS network.
Only recently, Canadian Pacific and Kansas City Southern announced plans to merge
into a single company, combining the two rail networks.
A CP representative stated, “Although the merger has not been federally approved as of this time, we can still begin consolidating operations and providing new services on the combined rail lines.”
Our reporter Spike Maulski reached out to the drug cartel, which is known as the “Juarez Cartel” for comment.
A representative said “Who are you and how did you find this number?” on the issue of transportation.
Canadian National, CP’s direct competitor in Canada, was also reached for comment.
A CN representative stated “Since we have started our new method of disusing
locomotives and simply pushing trains to their destination from a hump, our
operating ratio is the best it has ever been. We are not concerned about the
new developments with CP and KCS.”
CP states that they have plans to begin the service as early as May 2021, Beginning
with a trial route hauling lab produced Crack Rocks in open hoppers from Mexico City to western ports in Seattle, Vancouver BC, and Portland Oregon, for distribution and potential
export. If the service is a success, more routes may be started.

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news on trains and railroads.

Unfunny human makes meme of railroad term with alliterative day

(Fullerton, CA)
On monday, a child known as Joe Lawrie logged into his computer, and created an extremely unfunny video, consisting of a railroad term alliterative to the day, over a compilation of footage of said railroad term.
Within hours, chaos erupted in the streets. Thousands of people were enraged by this
video lacking any sort of humor, and began destroying stores and even murdering several people in the path of chaos.
We reached out to meme account BQ23_7 on instagram, one of the earliest people to make a meme of this type relating to trains in recent memory, for his opinion on the situation.

“Oh god, it’s certainly had a severe effect on my own mental health. It pushes me a little bit
closer to the edge every time I see an MP monday or WP wednesday meme, it’s pure torture. I made a video titled ‘tunnel motor tuesday’ in february of 2021, making fun of the anime memes of that same type, and I consider that to be one of the worst life choices I have ever made. It has pushed the railfan community down a slippery slope and begun what can only be described as a descent into madness.”

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Report: Union Pacific plans to eliminate all employees by 2023

‎(Omaha, Nebraska) Union Pacific, (NYSE: UNP) a major freight hauling class-one railroad, today announced that the company has plans to lay off all employees by 2023, citing their continuous efforts to streamline operations.

The company expects to cut their employee base to just 5,000 employees by 2022, adjusted from their initial estimate of 2,500. Union Pacific was founded in 1862, as a part of the United States’ Transcontinental Railroad. UP currently stands as the oldest operating class-one railroad in the United States.

When asked to comment by a RailNews correspondent, Union Pacific stated: “This has been a difficult decision to make. Ultimately, Union Pacific is committed to efficiently streamlining operations and driving corporate success and advantageous inclusivity. We will be offering a three day severance package to employees who have worked with us for 15 years or longer, in addition to 24 hours notice of termination.”

Inside Union Pacific’s headquarters in Omaha, talks are allegedly beginning on what the railroad will replace their employees with. Lance Fritz, the current Union Pacific CEO, stated at a company press conference: “…we don’t think it matters. I think maybe trained monkeys, or mannequins in high-vis vests, anything without a payroll works, really.” It is estimated that UP will release further information in its annual report to shareholders.

Morrison Kndusen Re-incorporates, Immediately Begins Tier 4 MK5000C Production

BOISE, ID. – The Morrison Knudsen company, defunct since the early 2000s and best known for their Caterpillar-powered, 5000-horsepower road diesels, filed for industrial permitting outside of Boise at their former shop complex, which rail news understands was obtained from Wabtec through hostile takeover via heavily armed paramilitary contractors. A press release from the company detailed the reincarnation of the company and their current and future plans. On the company’s comeback, the release read: “We’re back, baby! Hide the wife and kids, we’ll rebuild them next! Operations are returning to our Boise plant to take back the former glory of the MK empire from the filthy, GEVO-building hands of the previous occupants. MK WILL RULE AGAIN!” The company is currently ramping up production of their not-at-all-redesigned “Tier 4” MK5000C locomotive, which they hope to bring to class 1 rails by the end of Q3 2021. “We’re calling these things Tier 4 to sound woke but really all we did was tack weld on some huge radiators we found in the backlot when our contractors seized the facility. So far the EPA hasn’t noticed. We hope these new Tier 4 models will be as successful as our last batch.” The company also detailed plans to build new GP30s with defective parts, forcing customers to send their GP30s back to MK to get rebuild into more GP39Ms. For reasons unclear to Railnews, the line following the paragraph on this plan read “NO BILL, WE CAN’T TELL THEM THAT, TAKE THAT OUT!!! DO NOT PUBLISH THIS!!!!!!!!” Railnews will follow any developments out of Boise and will be the first to cover all the details!

National Model Railroad Association Survey shows Average Member Age is 1,607 Years Old

(Soddy Daisy, Tennessee)

The NMRA conducted an extensive survey of its members during the last year.

The survey, sent by carrier pigeon to all current members, covered topics ranging from individual statistics to modeling preferences.  One noteworthy finding is that 78% of members prefer to use the NMRA-standard X2F “horn-hook” coupler on their wood kit freight cars over the hook-and-loop coupler used in Mantua kits.

Additionally, 350% of NMRA Modelers believe the hobby is dying, a statistic which has not changed since the first member survey in 1779. “We’re glad to see a decrease in the average age, down 0.4% from the previous survey taken in 1974.”, said the now-fossilized, long serving NMRA president Charles Cambell.

“This is likely due to the new membership addition of Robert Johnson of Hartford, Connecticut. He is currently our youngest member at the age of 105. Unfortunately younger people are too busy with their new fangled yo-yos to care about model railroading.”

Mr. Cambell declined to answer questions regarding the NMRA’s plans to recruit members under the age of 100. At publishing time the NMRA announced a new benefit for members, a 10% discount on X2F couplers. This is in addition to the existing discount on green-dyed woodchips for layout scenery.

RailNews will update as the situation continues.

Calls to retire CN C40-8Ws after reports of racism

(Canada, CA) – People on Twitter are calling for the removal of Canadian Nationals C40-8W fleet after several racist remarks from their BNSF days have resurfaced. One dash-8 made a string of slurs, uttering “several of the grossest profanities known to man.” The dash-8Ms have come out defending their companions, stating: “Those comments were made a decade ago, times have changed and so have the dash-8s.” Canadian National has refused to comment on the controversy, however BNSF has stated that the actions of their former locomotives is “unacceptable and crude.” Several protestors have stormed yards in Canada, igniting trains on fire in protest of the racist comments. Ontario is now suffering several ongoing fires, and is gaining arial support from California’s anti-fire aircraft. Railnews will be keeping track of the situation as it unfolds.

CSRM Pledges to replace collection with CARB funded SC-44s

(Sacramento, California)
On friday, the California State Railroad Museum (CSRM) announced plans to replace all their exhibits with Tier-4 compliant Siemens SC-44 charger locomotives. The plan was hatched after discussions with the California Air Resource Board (CARB) about the excessive emissions created by the preserved locomotives in the museum’s collection.

Liane M. Randolph was contacted for a statement. She said, “We at CARB are excited
to push into the future with these new, more Eco-Friendly locomotives. People of
future generations will still be able to enjoy our state’s rich railroad history
while living in a cleaner world.”

In a statement, CSRM and CARB said they plan to take delivery of the first chargers in early Q4 2021, with the final locomotives being delivered in Q2 2022. The SC-44s are a standard model, but each will be painted to represent a historic locomotive which it will replace.

When reached for a statement, CSRM President Cheryl Marcell said “We plan to efficiently phase out the older locomotives and railcars while replacing them with
these extremely Eco-friendly Chargers and accompanying Venture coaches. The old locomotives will be drilled so as to prevent future operation, and sold on the used market.”
RailNews will update as more information becomes available.

Trainorders.com receives first new subscription in 4 years

In the early hours of Tuesday morning, a young man by the name of Chris Barnhart made a decision. Fueled by the desire to access a lackluster image of BNSF’s TACPAS with partial CN power, he purchased a subscription to Trainorders. This turned out to be a first in over 4 years for the website, which has been online since 1997. “I think I realized my mistake when I saw that the image was the last photo posted on the website” said Barnhart, “It was over 6 months old, and was posted by a guy who likes to comment sexual innuendos on my posts now”.

Unfortunately, Trainorders does not offer refunds on subscriptions, says owner Todd Clark, who seems to be pleased with the recent uptick in subscriptions. “I remember the last time someone subscribed, back in 2017. Robert or something, it was a real shame he passed, I’m just pleased we can say we have a double digit member count on the website without flat out lying. Hopefully Chris doesn’t pull a Robert and die.” Prior to Chris’s subscription, the last member to subscribe did so in 2017, and before that, 2012. Trainorders hopes to reel in one subscription every two years by the beginning of 2024, and with the help of people like Chris, it may just be possible.

Interview: CN Optimizes locomotives by not using them at all

INTERVIEW: Canadian National optimizes Locomotive Performance by just not using them at all

CALGARY, AB – Canadian National Railway is experimenting with a revolutionary new operating plan to move trains with as little power as possible by simply not using locomotives at all. Our field correspondent Spike Maulski sat down with a Canadian National operations manager who didn’t have a name for whatever reason to discuss this radical new method of moving trains. “Our new operating method shifts all train building to the Walker hump yard here in Calgary. Every train on the CN system gets built here now. Once a train is built, we have a single SD40Q we haven’t so much as inspected this century shove the train up and over the hump as fast as it’ll go while the dispatcher lines the cut of cars onto the main line. From there, we just hope the train rolls to its destination. This new plan entirely removes locomotive maintenance and runtime from the equation. Not that we did any of that to begin with, but corporate thinks it’s cool. With this plan taking effect, we hope to have every locomotive on the system except for the SD40Q stored or scrapped by Q4 of this year. We’ve recieved preliminary reports of customers not receiving cars for almost a week at this point but we’re sure that’s unrelated to this new plan.” When Spike asked him about the potential challenges of mountainous territory, the MTO responded with this: “Great question. We’re confident the cuts of cars will roll over the Rockies no problem, but we are looking in to roller coaster-style chain hook systems to drag cuts over grades. Environmental studies on that project should be completed by 2074.”

Railnews reached out to Canadian Pacific Rail for comment on their competitor’s drastic decrease in operating margins. The response Railnews received went as follows:

“lol   -Sincerely,    Canadian Pacific Press Team”

Only time will tell how this latest approach to rail movement will pan out. Railnews Online will be the first to cover any developments! Thanks to Spike Maulski for his work on this article.