Report: Railpictures.net to implement new system where they just fucking shoot anyone who submits cloudy photos

As the result of an influx of new Railfan photographers submitting their photos in the last several months, Highly regarded railroad photo site Railpictures.net has been recieving dozens of cloudy photos each and every day.

“It’s horrifying – Sometimes I look at the photo queue and question whether life is even worth living,” Said an RP representative on thursday, in a press release.

“We decided that something simply needed to be done to prevent these atrocities.”

Thus, on thursday, August 19th 2021, Railpictures announced their plans to implement a new system designed to eliminate the increasing number of cloudy photos in their queues – permanently.

“Over the next several weeks, we will be assembling death squads composed of privately hired mercenaries, intended to execute anybody who submits cloudy photos, as well as other undesirable photos, such as those with open locomotive nose doors, or those which are backlit,” A representative said in a press conference on thursday.

“We believe this new policy will not only eliminate current photographers who have a history of submitting cloudy pictures, but also hinder future submission of cloudy photos, as it will discourage future railfans from making the same mistakes.”
“The locations of targets will be obtained through IP address tracing, as well as cooperation with the CIA, long-time friends of the site, and the railfans will be executed via firing squad,” He added.

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The 2020 Roseville Railfan Hut Bombing in Retrospect

The 2020 Roseville Railfan Hut Bombing is easily one of the most tragic incidents within the railfan community in the past few years. It came as a shock to many as Wabtec’s FLXdrive demonstrator locomotive rolled up to the hut on a cool April afternoon, little did the railfans photographing the rare locomotive know that it would be their last special catch.

The Bombing

It is hard to believe it has been almost a year since the tragic Bombing at the railfan hut in Roseville, California. There were several members of the railfan community that were watching the locomotive that day but we do not know who it was, or if they were able to survive the blast and fire. We do know one person died and another left severely injured. As a result of the Bombing, a new law was passed by the state of California which prohibits private property owners from permitting railfan activity to occur at a location where large numbers of people can be present without prior permission from the landowner. The law went into effect in November 2020 and the Railfan Hut was forced to close its doors for good in June 2021.

Who did it?

Wabtec claimed responsibility, the day after the Railfan Hut was blown up. However, none of the facts fit that scenario and the Roseville Police Department, Alameda County Sheriff’s Office and other agencies all looked into the incident and never found any evidence of who actually did it. As a result, the theory is that a propane torch or similar flammable material could have been used to ignite the hut and the flames moved through the frame to the batteries, which exploded with the blast. Wabtec never even presented their evidence. Why did it happen?

Why did they do it?

Following a period of service for Wabtec and BNSF, the locomotive rolled up to Roseville’s Railfan Hut on a cool November afternoon and railfans began taking photographs of the unit. Nothing suspicious was immediately seen by the railfans at the site. It was only when a short time later, another railfan discovered a small open window on the cab side of the BEL44C4D model. When he looked through the glass, he discovered a detonation device. All we know at the moment is that two railway maintenance workers and a member of the Roseville Rails to Trails Commission were seriously injured and hospitalized. The other railfans on the site were not injured, but remained shaken by the event.

Why was the railfan hut targeted?

Wabtec was a part of the introductory ceremony of the Wabtec GigaSwitcher in California. The Wabtec GigaSwitcher has one of the most massive hopper cranes in North America, requiring a highly visible and secure installation in the worksite. The giga switcher needed a place to go to generate loads of video and photo coverage. The Railfan Hut would have been the perfect place for the Wabtec Switcher, and would have given the company perfect exposure to the North American market. Railfan Catering When I first heard about the bombing I initially thought it was a joke, but after speaking with those who were there on the day it became clear that this tragedy was just as devastating. The outpouring of sympathy, support, and grief were staggering.

Conclusion

There are those times when you only need a little push to carry you to the next level in your photography journey. This was one of those times. I was fortunate enough to be on the scene at the Railfan Hut bombing and I was fortunate enough to capture the event. I had my hand on the shutter release on my camera snapping away at the bomb when I realized something was wrong. My heart sank into my stomach when I saw what had just happened. Two members of the Fire Protection District were pushing a patient in an ambulance out of the Railfan Hut as the explosion occurred. Then, a swarm of first responders descended on the scene. With all the chaos and noise from the response, I had no clue as to the identity of the casualties, nor did I know how much time I had before the fire trucks arrived.

(Written by AI)

Report: Amtrak Coast Starlight to be bus bridged with the Rapido Bus due to trestle fire

(Black Butte, CA)
Disaster struck this past week with the outbreak of the Lava fire. The fire has engulfed nearly 20,000 acres of land in flames as of this morning, and it continues to spread. On tuesday, the fire reached Union Pacific’s Black Butte subdivision, and subsequently the Hotlum Trestle. The entire wood decking of the trestle was destroyed, and some of the metal components were critically damaged.
We reached out to Union Pacific for comment. A UP representative stated, “We plan to simply continue operations as we normally would. Since we’ve laid off all of our train crews, there is little to no risk to human life. The computers in our autonomous locomotives will be rigged to drive across the damaged bridge at full speed.
Leaving the bridge unrepaired will be greatly beneficial in our effort to reach the ideal operating ratio!”
Unfortunately however, the situation has impacted amtrak in a more negative fashion. The bridge fire has broken the path of the Coast Starlight long distance train, which operates between Los Angeles and Seattle. Fortunately, Amtrak has come prepared with a contingency plan for events such as this.

A representative from Amtrak stated “While the bridge is unusable due to the fires, we will be bus bridging the train between Klamath Falls, Oregon, and Sacramento, California. Our good friends at Rapido Trains Inc will be providing top notch bus service in the Rapido bus, a refurbished vintage GM Fishbowl bus.”
Amtrak and Rapido did not state how long they plan to operate this service.

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Report: Union Pacific to partner with Spacex for 2021 steam excursions

(Cheyenne, WY)
On Thursday, Union Pacific (UPRR,) one of the 6 class 1 railroads in North America, announced plans to partner with Elon Musk’s company SpaceX for the 2021 steam excursion season.

Since 2019, Union Pacific has been operating steam excursions primarily with “Big Boy” 4-8-8-4 locomotive number 4014. After a steam operation hiatus due to the Corona Virus pandemic of 2020, the Union Pacific steam team announced a few weeks ago that there would once again be excursion trips in 2021, and that they would reveal the trip
dates and locations in the coming weeks.

On Thursday, June 17th, it was revealed that this year UP
will be partnering with Elon Musk’s popular spacecraft and space travel company, Spacex for a UP 4014 excursion trip in outer space.

In an interview, Ed Dickens, the head of Union Pacific’s steam team stated “We are very
excited for our new plans with Spacex this year. We plan to attach 8 rocket boosters to UP 4014 in total, on its tender as well as its boiler. We’ve done no research so far, and we’re not sure how to bring passenger cars with the locomotive, but we think everything will work out fine.”

In an interview, Spacex CEO Elon Musk stated “I’ll be taking UP 4014 to the moon, as I did dogecoin.” He declined to comment any further.

Railnews will bring updates as the situation continues. Follow us on WordPress and Instagram for the highest quality railfan news on the web.

Report: Following loss of KCS merger, Keith Creel converts CP corporate Instagram account into Bart Simpson sadboyposting page

(Calgary, AB)

Canadian Pacific Railway’s CEO, Keith Creel, has made the decision to convert CP’s corporate Instagram account into a Bart Simpson sadboyposting page, he revealed at a press conference on Thursday. This is due to Canadian Pacific’s loss of the Kansas City Southern merger, with KCS having chosen Canadian National, CP’s main competitor as their preferred merger partner.

“Nobody understands how I feel. I’m just a broken guy,” Creel said at the press conference where he unveiled the plan on thursday. He said that Kansas City Southern’s decision to abandon the CPKC deal in favor of merging with Canadian National has “Ruined [his] life” and also commented “I’m gonna die alone. I guess nobody ever really liked CP, after all.”

In thursday’s press conference, Creel also outlined plans to replace the beaver in CP’s Golden Beaver logo with a hoodie wearing sad bart simpson, outlined by the text “Broken.”

Follow Railnews on WordPress and Instagram (@railnews_online) For up-to-date info as the story develops.

Report: Riots erupt in streets of Portland yet again because of the Piss Shoe Incident

(Portland, OR)

Portland Oregon is once again suffering at the hands of protestors as giant organized waves of homeless men, women and blue haired Snapchat models storm the streets of the Rose City.

What is the cause of these new riots? A homeless man in New Jersey being attacked at the hands of foamers. The man, without a home, was assaulted by several disabled teenagers early this morning using a shoe full of urine.

Protestors have been chanting “homeless lives matter” and destroying fast food chains, such as Arby’s, in retaliation of the event. Union Pacifics “horn alley” as been affected, to which they have responded by using their newly purchased tanks to blast protestors out of sight. We will continue to bring the latest information as the situation unfolds.

BREAKING NEWS: Canadian National begins targeted drone strike/bombing campaign against strategic Canadian Pacific infrastructure locations

TORONTO, ON. – In response to recent cyber-attacks on their systems by competitor Canadian Pacific, the Canadian National Railway has begun a strategic campaign to eliminate many, if not all, major infrastructure hubs across its competitors’ system. Jacque Peanos, head of the CN police force, gave this statement to Railnews: “CP hackers changing all of our train ID codes in our system to YOURMOM was the final straw. Starting immediately, all CN asset security division Predator drones and B-58 bombers will begin attacks against all major points on the Canadian Pacifc system. We have dispatched over 50 predator drones in each province to take down bridges, junctions and smaller facilities, while our B-58 squadrons are already en route to carpet-bomb major yards in Calgary, Port Coquitlam, Vancouver, Montreal, Kansas City and other targets I’m unable to disclose at this time. We hope that this offensive will demonstrate to Kansas City Southern and the Surface Transportation Board not only our superiority over the competition, but also our corporate initiative and readiness to solve problems.”

Follow Railnews Online for up-to-date coverage on the War of the Class 1s.

Report: Canadian Pacific launches cyber attacks against CN

(Calgary, AB)


Earlier this morning, Canadian National, a major Canadian class-one railroad suffered a series of ransomware attacks. The attacks aimed to steal upwards of $10B in ransom payments from the company. The attacks are believed to have been carried out by a major industry competitor, Canadian Pacific. These events come after CN outbid CP’s offer of $25B for Kansas City Southern.       Canadian Pacific CFO Keith Creel refuted the allegations of CP’s role in the attacks, claiming that CP wouldn’t need to launch attacks in order to afford to outbid CN. Creel proceeded to ask for donations to CP’s GoFundMe page, which has been deactivated as of Wednesday.   

  The attacks will not likely impact the result of the attempts made by the two competing companies to purchase KCS.

REPORT: Everyone and their Dog submits bid for Kansas City Southern

(KANSAS CITY, KS) Railnews has obtained information that literally every person, animal and corporation on earth has submitted a bid to acquire Kansas City Southern railroad. Bid amounts ranged from between $-357 to $77,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000(maximum amount submitted by Genesee & Wyoming Corp.). We were able to contact two parties for comment, Granny Diana Roderick of Bowling Green, Kentucky, and her Pitbull dog, Tutu. In response to Railnews’ request for comment, Granny had this to say: “When the opportunity to purchase KCS presented itself, I saw it as the perfect addition to my portfolio. I believe that, under my ownership, the company and its worldwide subsidiaries can continue to excel in the realm of global logistics and do great things.” We reached out to Tutu, the Pitbull, as well. Our correspondent was met with growling and snarling as the vicious dog pushed her own 200-page acquisition proposal across the porch for our staff to review.

Follow Railnews Online for to-the-minute updates on the war for Kansas City Southern.

Special Earth Day report: BNSF to go emissions-free by 2022 by welding shut exhaust stacks on all locomotives

(Fort Worth, TX)
On thursday, BNSF Railway, one of the largest Class 1 railroads in the US, announced a new plan to go zero emissions by 2022. The railroad released a statement describing their plans to eliminate all locomotive emissions by welding shut the exhaust stacks on all locomotives.
A representative of BNSF, from the Northtown Mechanical Department, gave a statement:
“We plan to weld the stacks shut on locomotives as they are cycled through the shops for routine maintenance or class rebuilds. We’ve done no testing so far, but we think it should work to help preserve the environment for future generations.”
We reached out to Union Pacific and Canadian National, 2 competitors to BNSF, for comment on the subject, and what their respective companies are doing to lower emissions. A representative from Union Pacific in Omaha, NE stated “As a result of our new plan to eliminate all employed by the company, emissions will be greatly lowered. If we aren’t operating trains, they can’t create emissions.”
A Canadian National representative in Toronto stated, “For several weeks now we have been utilizing our new strategy of simply pushing every train to its destination from our Winnipeg hump, using a single locomotive. All other locomotives have been stored and placed for sale. As such, our emissions have been lowered by 99%.”
BNSF says they have already started welding shut exhaust stacks at several locations, and they plan to have the stacks closed on at least 40% of locomotives by Q4 2021, and have the project completed by 2022.

Follow RailNews on WordPress and Instagram for updates on the topic.

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